After many decades of guilt and denial, it appears that Christians have finally discovered a way to integrate porn into god’s plan. This is achieved through “Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage“.

Some of the suggestions for integrating CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline) into your marriage include:

      Reassure her of your love. Though you might bring her pain during punishment, you would never do her any lasting harm.
      If she is afraid of spanking or completely set against it, begin with alternative punishments.

Suggest you begin CDD in a limited capacity (for example, agree to use only your hand with a ten swat limit) until she is more comfortable with the relationship.

Assure her you’re not a sadist, and though you might be turned on by seeing her behind or by her submission to you, you will never gain pleasure from causing her pain.

But don’t for a second imagine that CDD is akin to abuse. On the contrary, one of the listed benefits of CDD is

Protection of the wife spiritually – From the accusations of the enemy and other spiritual attacks. Not being under the protected “covering” of her husband, places her outside of God’s will, and would put her in a place where the enemy has a right to attack her. If anyone, man or woman, stands OUTSIDE of the castle walls of submission to God’s order they are more open to the enemy’s attack.

If you are unfortunate enough to have chosen a heathen spouse, as I have, you’re probably out of luck. Sure, the law won’t come down on you for some mild spanking activity – but don’t expect it to result in correction. And some god-fearing women may also be unsure as to the virtues of spanking. You should carefully and patiently try to help them realise that:

If she has NOT been trained by the painful chastising, she may forfeit some peaceable fruit that could have been hers. She may spend decades trapped in bad attitudes and sinful habits that might have been corrected. She may destroy relationships, even hurt or wreck her marriage, all for the protection of her disobedient heart. DD is not a guarantee of things working out, and at times you may need to walk in FAITH in God’s wisdom. But NOT using DD may cause some habits to go on uncorrected that may be hurtful later.

Disturbingly, the authors are most likely sincere, and truly believe that believers – who lack the mental facilities required for living their lives without the guidance of ancient mythology – will reliably be able to separate CDD from spousal abuse. Furthermore, there are no doubt plenty of loving and attentive wives who are quite happy being infantilised in this fashion. Somehow, though, they manage to justify CDD while arresting the slippery slope towards behaviour like

executing stubborn kids: “If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son … Then shall his father and his mother … bring him out unto the elders of his city … And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.” — Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (AV)

killing kids for mocking prophets: “Some small boys came out of the city and jeered at [the prophet Elisha], saying, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” And … he cursed them in the name of the Lord. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.”
— II Kings 2:23-24 (RSV)

Maybe I’ve got it all wrong – god does exist, and Larson described him perfectly…


By Jacques Rousseau

Jacques Rousseau teaches critical thinking and ethics at the University of Cape Town, South Africa, and is the founder and director of the Free Society Institute, a non-profit organisation promoting secular humanism and scientific reasoning.