Examples: emails from students

For those who want some context with regard to this post:

    Exhibit A

“I WAS UNABLE TO ACCESS ANY OF MY E-MAILS. BUT MY MARK RECORDS ARE INCORRECT BECAUSE I HAV HANDED IN MY BIG ESSAY 2.THE TUTOR(xxxxx xxxxx) SAID THAT SHE HAS HANDED ALL RESULTS IN BUT THEY DO NOT REFLECT ON THE BOARD. PLEASE WOULD YOU CORRECT THE ERROR.”

That’s all. No “Hi SlackCollective”, and no indication of who the sender is. On our mail system, the “from” header consists of a student number, so it’s not as if she was assuming I’d know her name from that. And then there’s the shouting (which will no doubt make me satisfy her vague request all the sooner). As Maddox points out, seven sixteenths of one inch is the distance “you’d have to move your pinky in order to not sound like an idiot”.

    Exhibit B

: Full text here.

Hie ,guess you are surprised but….

Q. Why beleive in GOD?

A. [Loosely tied together collection of logical fallacies and unquestioned assumptions deleted]

Q.Why belive in Christianity?

A.[Ditto, except for one gem I have to leave in]: Now consider that the children of Israel were in the desert for 40years ,they were approximately 3milllion with there livestock and they propagated.How could they have survived in the desert for such a long time,getting water and food to feed them unless manna fell from heaven and water came from a rock(this rock is in Israel today).It is impractical for therer to be another explaination than that the Bible and the Jews themseives give.Hence we must accept this as true.

Hmmm – maybe they ate some of that livestock?

CLOSING comments:The decision is yours,whether to be hard headed or open to God, however not all proof has been written because of space and time.But please open to the gospel.Acts 17:30 shows that God ,even though bacuse of His love to us offers salvation,He is also commanding all men to turn to Jesus.

Not all proof has been written because of space and time? This sounds like a job for Captain Spock!

If you have any queries you can reply and I will help if I can. If you don’t beleive you are welcome not to reply but read Mark chapter16 and the last verse of John 3.

God be gracious to you bless you and draw you to him in Jesus’ name. Byebye

I was asked to write this by one of your students(in case you are wondering who I am.)

God loves and needs you.

It’s clear from this email that god needs me – to teach his evangelists to spell, for one.

    Exhibit C

hi Collective.How could u answer the following Qs. my friend told me that
anything can come out in Morality section.Believe me i hav bn dreamin
that they may come out in the xzam. if they gonna come out pliz be
specific 2 each one of them.
1.”DO U THINK MADIKIDZELA MANDELA’S TRIAL WAS FAIR?” do u look at things
like she was or is a public figure, she dedicated all her time for the
people of SA so judge shouldn’t b harsh on her.But the other fellow on
the other fence may say “no since she is a public figuer she should be
an example to every one and the jurdgement should be harsh”. OR all of
these hould b left out and tried like any citizen. Bt i think all these
r not convincing enough.

2.”DO WE HAV HUMAN RIGHTS BCAZ WE R HUMAN BEINGS?” on this one i donn’t
know where 2 start. of course we cann’t have animal rights even though
we r animals.
ur assistance will b highly apptd.

I imagine youre beyond my ability 2 hlp. howevR, f d assistance U nEd relates 2 euthanasia, I’d b v intRStd n discuSN d [email protected] @ lngth.